To post, or not to post, that is the query:
Whether ’tis nobler upon the Internets to suffer
The spam and malware of outrageous technology,
Or to take arms against a web of viruses
And by deleting, end them. To close: to save,
No more and by to save to say we end
The server lag and the thousand natural errors
That the Computer is heir to: ’tis an exploit
Devoutly to be requested. To close: to save
To save, perchance to suspend. Aye, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep mode of low power, what raster may come,
When we have shut down that power supply,
Must give us pause…
This of course, is an excerpt from Shakespeare’s Hamlet with some artistic alterations. Though had Shakespeare lived in 2011, I think this would have been how Hamlet’s soliloquy would have been written. But then, what if they’d had the Internet and computers in late 16th century England? Would Shakespeare still have spoken of slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? Would he still have asked what dreams may come, or would some other word have entered his auspicious mind?
Then, there’s the upcoming movie, Anonymous which, much to my surprise, has nothing to do with Guy Fawkes or the Internet phenomenon which bears his pasty, caricatured plastic face.
Instead, the film follows the idea that the works of William Shakespeare, were in fact written by a man named Edward de Vere, the 17th Earl of Oxford.
I don’t know much about this film, or this theory, however. I personally subscribe to the idea that Shakespeare’s plays were written by Sir Francis Bacon, the Viscount of Saint Albans.
The proof? Well, consider the Baconian Cipher. If we encode the word “William Shakespeare,” using the cipher, utilizing the vowels as A’s and Consonants as B’s, we come up with BABBA ABBBA BABBA ABA. Using the cipher to translate this, we come up with “Y P Y” and a leftover “ABA” which could potentially be specifically designed to meld with the first two letters B and A, creating ABABA, which is L.
Yes, it takes a little bit of imagination, but remember, in those days, the thorn, þ was often widely used to represent the letters TH. The thorn character was often mistaken for the letter Y, and in many cases, especially in the use of the printing press, the letter Y was substituted for the thorn.
Put it all together, and you have either THPYL, YPTHL or THPTHL. Assuming that a word has at least one vowel, the Y takes that role here, so the word is probably THPYL. Thypl is the word for “Bacon” in a language I just made up.
Thus William Shakespeare translated through the Bacon Cipher (and a bit of imagination) yields “Bacon,” and thus I prove that Shakespeare was Bacon.
Yes, my whole theory hinges on a word which would have given even Lewis Carroll pause, but if you could just ignore this one tiny fact, the theory is completely flawless. Except insofar as much as it is complete and total drivel.
…
Alright, I’m sorry for wasting your time.
