Over the past few months, I have been in three weddings, in two of which, I was a groomsman; attended a baby shower (my second ever); took two weeks of paid vacation (yay!) and still had time to prevent my cat from destroying Manhattan Island in a poorly conceived attempt to dig a trans-Atlantic tunnel connecting the Bronx with Lisbon, Portugal.
Needless to say, the tunnel was stopped well short of the 3,430 mile (5,520 km) goal, and the tunnelling machines were returned to their proper owners to be utilized in some plot for world domination to be dealt with by James Bond and the good men and women of MI-6.
And my blog has probably just been flagged by Her Majesty’s Secret Service… Hi guys! Love the Bond movies! Hope you beat MI-5 in the inter-departmental Rugby match next Spring. (No, really. They take their Rubgy and Intelligence seriously.
So anyway, I haven’t updated in a while, and I felt I should at the very least let my readers (both of them) know what’s been happening in my life of late. First, the weddings in which I was in attendence were quite nice. One was held in a church and featured red tuxes, Christian music and pizza. The other was held in a ski lodge, and featured blue tuxes, loud music, pizza and taxidermied animals… Okay, that was just in the lodge. And they were just in the lobby, not in the rooms. The dead things were kitsch, but if they’d been in the room, they would have crossed the line from tacky to tasteless….
The baby shower was nice too, and it is my fervent hope that once the baby is born, my cat Shishou does not teach her how to make weapons-grade plutonium from items commonly found beneath the kitchen sink. Had that problem with the neighbor’s kid, who now glows green at night and can rotate his head 360°, but no longer has the ability to move his eyes. We call him owlboy. He’s really nice, though he spends all night hooting and glowing. And we haven’t seen a rodent in months…
I’ve also been working on two minor projects. One, I’ve been attempting to get my computer room cleaned up to some extent so I can actually find half the shit I have in here, and two, I’ve been shredding old documents. My shredder apparently has a habit of overheating and shutting down for short periods of time. And my bank prints my account statements on heavy paper which is more like very thin card-stock than paper. So I have about two years’ worth of bank statements to shred, and my shredder keeps getting indigestion. Maybe I ought to take my remaining sheets over to Absolute Data Destruction or give them to the Foot Clan to deal with…
Need to do some Christmas shopping, but us bachelors usually wait until the 24th.
Thankfully I got this guy paid off…
‘Cause he doesn’t take checks, and his interest rates are a killer.
